Pete has an attachment to all things phallic. Pens, rockets, John Howard – and with Richard away… he let fly!
First of all, Peter Jackson. The Man, the myth, the shrinking violet. See i like Peter Jackson! Lord of the Rings was cool, King Kong was way better than i thought. But for Pete, Jackson is the enemy. So he set his sight’s on Jackson’s One Ring. You see Jackson is suing New Line Pictures for money owed, they in turn won’t let him direct The Hobbit, a property he brought to them to make in the first place. It’s messy, it’s ugly… it’s basically a whole lot of people tooling off about how good they are. So, inevitably, this means TARGET ACQUIRED! Hell hath no fury like Pete’s… fury. Jackson ducked, he weaved, he hid behind a sheep till the temptation got the best of him! Thankfully he escaped while Pete prematurely reviewed “Bring It On 3”, staring Beyonce Knowles sister, Shlong Knowles.
With words like “Dominant Paradigm” it was time to talk US politics. GWB (this is his daughter BTW… and so is this – just for fun!!) has set about gaining the opinion of experts in foreign policy, economics, ethics and the VHS Beta debate to decide on exactly what America is going to do with Iraq. Stay/ go? He listened, he pondered, he had lunch – then he made a decision; let’s ignore the experts and send 20,000 more troops to Iraq! Oh GWB, you flying butthockey! He wants to “reach out and touch” Iraq, and not in a Catholic priest kind of way either. So we think that very soon the world will resound with this tune;
“Reach out and touch,
somebody’s hand,
Shoot and American,
if you can…”
Sad but true America. Wake up!!
From the ridiculous to the buff. LL Cool J. He is Da Man, and to prove it he has his very own workout book! LL, or as we know know him “Todd Smith” lets us in on the secrets to being buff, toned and magnetic to the lay-deez!!! More than anything, this just proves you can buy out ghetto attitude, social conscience and political subversion with a part in “SWAT”, some fly video clips and a workout book. LL – you suck!!
When people first meet Pete, they come away thinking how wise he is, how he sees the big picture, how his knowledge transcends that of most mortals, and that he plays with his mic far too much. So using these powers he has seen a vision – it was John Wood in Speedos, but thankfully we got him off that topic. It was Arnie running for President in 2012. Here it here first, Arnie Terminates the Democrats! Will it come true? If not… we never believed Pete anyway!
Little Johnny, the PM wants you to write to him. He wants to hear what you have to say. Strangely, so do ASIO – so think carefully what you write, or you’ll be locked up under their draconian anti-terror laws – and no one will know! That’s right, they don’t have to tell anyone – you just disappear. Hello fascism!!
The Fuck ‘o’ Meter this week was interesting. With the Richard factor gone, we predicted a change, and coup if you will when it came to this little part of the show… we were wrong!!
Peter: 5
Abe: 0
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