EPISODE #229 – The Geldof Files

A Walk in the Black Forest not only comes with a language and content warning – it also comes with another listener advisory – Just because we say it’s on the show… doesn’t mean it is. So if you were looking forward to the Lonely Planet Guide to Whacking Off, we apologise!

But (never start a sentence with “but” kids… unless it’s “Butt-kisser” used in reference to Little Johnny and GWB… mind you that’s a statement and not a sentence – i digress!!!!) what we did delve into this week was Bob Geldof. Part man, part phenomenon… well that’s what he says. If you believe his press Bob has saved the world from famine and disease, campaigned for peace and lesbian whales. Personally i think he’ll be remembered for saving only one thing – Paula Yates from having to go into porn, having no real discernable skills of her own. Mind you she was a good shot with a needle apparently! So this week we started the Geldof Files (name to be confirmed) where we keep an eye on this phenomenon – this icon of bad hair and ‘interesting’ fragrance. As it turns out, his daughters; Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches, and Pixie all of whom i’m sure are very well adjusted and bear no burden from being named after fruit and John Williamson’s violinist have made a mark on the world in their own unique way. So, anyway, what triggered this off was Geldof’s recent massive concert series in Milan. The term “whirlwind” could be used – mind you that would mean people actually gave a fuck – which they didn’t and as such was a gaping miasma of failure! We reveled in this failure, and the fact the concert was cancelled, the people didn’t get their money back – BUT will get a free gig (they paid for) in the “future”… you know, where cars fly and we all live in peace!! Peace out Bob – you keep selling out… If you did miss the concert – then email tina@bobgeldof.info and apparently you can get your money back. Let’s all get our money back – EVEN IF WE DIDN’T GO!!

Strike a pose
The Fuck-o-meter this week was off the dial. Richard piped in first 10:39. Keep in mind, the intro goes for 3 minutes, the introductions for about 2 – which gave him 4 minutes to get one in! That may be a record. Maybe next week it can be in the opening… save time. Mind you Peter wasn’t much better 10:50, and again at 11:55… what are they teaching the kids these days?

What they are teaching them is the term “GGMILF”. Which according to urbandictionary.com means “a great grandmother who is as hot as her daughter and grand daughter. . .and likes it”. How Peter knew this, i don’t know and i don’t want to – but it would explain the pile of Depends in his bag!

Well if you missed it are you sorry?

There was more – but there’s only so much that can be chronicled for future generations.

The Chronicler

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