Now if you heard last week’s show, you will know that Peter (of peterpedia@walkblackforest.org fame) has decided to outsource both Richard and myself. Following various government and corporate Australian models, Sanjeev Wotaknob and Goobtah Wellcheckthisout will in fact be brought in to take our place. Interesting for all 4 of us really, but not as interesting as the experiences we have all had with Pacific Internet, who are also outsourcing. Tales of woe, questionable customer service, and quality naan ensued. I love Naan, Peshwari naan to be precise. In fact so much so that we have decided to move WBF HQ to the home of naan – Newtown, Sydney. With both of the lads (not including Sanjeev and Goobtah who are currently living in Pete’s TV cabinet) now Newtown Boyz (please notice the very intentional “z”) it makes sense to move there. Mind you with the wealth of very good indian restaurants, we may need to be careful – the whole suburb may get outsourced to Mumbai!
The big news this week was the release of Wave 4 of GI Joe Sigma Six figures… oh no, wait on that was my big news. The other big news was our northern neighbour deciding to test some glow in the dark firecrackers. Look, who are we to say it’s irresponsible. John Howard’s the Prime Minister, Alexander Downer is the Foreign Minister and we still still have Australian Idol on TV. Speaking of crap… Alexander Downer has decided to take the lead on North Korea’s recent glow in the dark fireworks testing. Lexy is a true expert in Korean politics. He knows the people, he knows the country – it’s just a shame he knows different people in different countries. But that being said it’s not going to stop him adding comment and informed analysis on the issue. Now as for Kim Jong-il – what exactly did he do wrong? Okay granted he’s not exactly a fashion icon, nor is he a stunner – but that guy has nukes! And you know what that means? Huge penis!!!
LEFT: Here’s Kim Jong-il now in one of his best suits! Not too sure who that man standing next to him is though – looks tough… maybe KGB!
RIGHT: Kim Jong-il proving he loves porn and skanky hoes
Not only are they using glow in the dark fireworks over in Asia, but Richard discovered they have technology that will rock the world to it’s knees. 36 hour erection technology. It’s true – stuff Viagra, forget the pump, get rid of your inflattable Carmen Electra, this stuff is the real deal. Richard said it was spam – but on closer inspection, it was addressed so;
“Dear Richard, Thank you for your enquiry into our product. We appreciate your enthusiasm, but we really didn’t need the pictures you sent us. Please don’t contact us again.”
Pete says this technology’s for wimps – then proceeded to show us how to change a light bulb without using his hands.
You know, maybe if Kim Jong-il knew of this technology he could save money on nukes and have his own private massive erections. Kim Jong-il, coming to a webcam near you!!! The North Koreans are going to kill me aren’t they?
I need a TIVO. You can fast forward the ads (and even cut them out), it tapes multiple programmes, you can set and forget it. Unfortunately PBL and the media conglomerates here don’t think you need it – so they’re suing anyone who tries to even think of bringing it here. Now this shits me… what did Steve Irwin die for if not to give us this privilege?
Millions of Peaches, Peaches’ blows goats!! Anyway, i don’t actually know that, but i’m sure Pete has the footage. Now Peaches caught a bus this week, a double decker bus. Not the first time she’s had a double decker, but that’s beside the point. I don’t know if that’s true either frankly. Her dad, Boomtown Bob, is in Africa dedicating more of his time to leach sympathy of unfortunate people to gain himself more fame. Harsh? Get a life!!! His new reality TV show, the Bobest Loser is about an absent father who travels the world simplifying people’s plight while still being able to look “windswept and interesting” against the african sky. There’s only one contestant, Boomtown Bob, but really doesn’t the universe revolve around him anyway?
Meanwhile Peaches has been making “Friends” (too funny) with David Schwimmer, you know, Ross from Friends. Wait on, i want to say Friends again in this section… Anyway, dad wouldn’t be pleased, not becasue he’s 22 years older than her, but because she was out and had a bit too much to “drink”. Those damn wet nostrils!! But apparently her boyfriend/ friend-who-is-a-boy Johnny Tourettes (DJ fucking-arsehole-yip-yip-sucky-knob) gave her a ring.
You expected a line there didn’t you?
It was even a pearl ring… i’m being good… i’m not saying it
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You don’t know how hard this is!!
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The fuck-O-Meter was off the charts this week. I claim responsibility. Pete won with 6, Richard in 3rd with 3, and i was in there with 4. Can you believe it?
Stay tuned next week when we’ll turn the WBF eye on the world…
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