EPISODE #236 – Lamingtons – The Silent Killer!

With the ire of the world’s dominant powers turing toward the triumvirate of WBF, we beat a hasty retreat to Studio 7. Once famous in radio folklore for the last place The Parrot had an original thought, Studio 7 was now the broadcast point feared by corporate juntas, capitalist ideologs, and collectors of Pokemon cards!

So what is an Aussie Icon? What makes an icon and icon? Is it the sweaty jock strap of Wally Lewis? The frothy dessert of pavlova? Or the quintessional lamington? Lamington i hear you say.
Yes i know!!
Possibly the only sweet that can kill you! Come on, you can’t say you’ve never nearly choked on a lung full of desiccated coconut! Lamingtons… an icon? Hardly, they kill thousands of unsuspecting kids and nannas every day in this country. Fuck the lamington!

As the War on Terrors begins to unravel, we found another weak spot, and another chink in the metaphoric armour… Sydney Airport! Flocking point for the emotionally unstable, bastion of the family farewell, home of the great unwashed. So it seems in a universe under potential attack, it only takes an A4 sign to stop imminent attack. Well apparently that all it takes at the Arrivals section of Sydney airport! Just a simple blue A4 sign saying “No Entry”. If there really was a War on Terror, don’t you think more than a sign would need to be taken to stop a bomb-weilding loon blowing up a large crowd of bystanders, or maybe passport control at Australia’s largest airport? Well it didn’t seem to stop people walking straight passed it to meet their relatives! They could have been packing some heat, a bomb… a dozen lamingtons!!!
Now all we need is a few of these on some important bulidings and maybe people won’t fly planes into them! Well with the massive security presence at the Harbour Bridge, maybe a sign would be more effective!
Pete decided this week to “Reframe the Debate”. Take it to the politicians. Hell, just because we have soldiers dying overseas, citizens being locked up under sedition laws (remember it is illegal to report on arrests or trials taking place under sedition laws), new immigrants being harassed, legal refugees being locked up in gaol, doesn’t mean we should turn the tables on the critics. Little Johnny and his Bootlicking cronies are masters of it. Critises anything, and it’s your fault. That’s right – you don’t work hard enough, you take too many breaks, you don’t spend enough, you don’t have enough kids, you’re not the right colour, you don’t go to the right schools… you aren’t one of us!!! So go away – who are you to critisise?
Democracy?
Fuck that!!

Microsoft, always the bastions of new technology, have brought out their answer to the iPod. Richard has an iPod, it holds songs – at least temporarily. But Microsoft now offer you cutting edge technology to compete; the Zune.

This is the Zune. The main selling point of the Zune? Their catchy slogan; “Dude – you’ve got a Zune…”. Well no spongebob, i don’t. Know why? The Microsoft Zune; Holds less songs, in a world of portability is bigger and heavier, is the same price, and comes in such great colours; the ubiquitous white, black and wait for it – brown. But not any brown! It’s 1970s IKEA brown!! Stylish Microsoft.
“Microsoft, it’s new, it’s revolutionary – we should know – we stole the idea from the people who came up with it”.

This week we also launched the Peterpedia. Your radio source for information on the world. So if you’d like to ask Peterpedia anything, email him peterpedia@walkblackforest.org. He’ll be able to turn his encyclopedic knowledge to solving it. Just don’t ask him Michael Hutchence’ mums name… that’s still under consideration!

Millions of Peaches turned it’s light on Bobby Bob. Seems Peaches’ dad wrote his biography “One Day My Daughter Will Be a Pretentious Prat” many lies, including his influence on women. If it wasn’t the smell or his head that told you that was a lie – you’re a tool!! Apparently Peaches takes after her old man – he’s obsessed with guys too! Go Bobby Bob!! Keep looking, it’ll distract you from writing any more music… yuck!!!

The Fuck ‘O’ Meter this week was reasonably sedate, except when it came to the word “lamington”. Well what was i going to do? The word came up and i had to react! What would you have done? Stand up people – fight the lamington!!!