EPISODE #282 – Get Your Hotten Sexen at the Coconuts

Was Pete still away? Absence makes the heart grow fonder – but this is just stupid!

Stuck in Australian quarantine after an unfortunate dealing with a pair of Thai Fisherman’s Pants, Pete had to phone in on a secure line called Albert. Albert turned out to not be so secure and the entire conversation can now be seen on YouTube – 4 second delay and all!! Speaking to someone on delay needs a special kind of skill, a dexterity of thought and action… so we hung up, rang back and got a better line.

So once we had him in living colour, we could move on!

“Could” being the operative word, but instead we learnt about the Dutch. Pete has recently been in Holland, land of arrogant men and stoic women, and had somewhat of a cultural awakening – a renaissance so to speak. He loves the Dutch; their cycling, their recent dumping of a Right wing government, and of course their affinity with manually filling leaks with digits. It’s all positive – it’s all Dutch!!

Meanwhile, over in the Old Dart, Jeremy Paxman (famed UK news anchor) has caused a bit of a storm with his angry response to the recent changes at Marks & Spencers department store. You see they’ve done the unthinkable and changed the way they make underwear. Yes underwear! J-Pax (as he’ll now be known) is now very upset that these changes have left the underwear without “gusset support”. It’s caused a furore, and J-Pax has gone on record worrying about “widespread gusset anxiety”. Some would have to say that it’s just lucky a public British figure is complaining about mens underwear and not appearing in stockings an laderhosen.

We then crossed to the US Presidential Race, with Clinton and Obama neck and neck, Goo-Gliani initially doing well, then dropping out, the Clinton’s racial slurs, and Hillary discovering that all you need to do to win a primary is cry. That’s going to help when the bombs start falling. Hillary, the crying president.

The much anticipated “Cloverfield” film was released 48 hours before the US, and didn’t really disappoint. Some in the theatre were disappointed, but when they finally get a girl to look in their pants me thinks there will be a much sadder disappointment for all concerned. Basically it’s a US Godzilla flick with an apocalyptic ending. I recommend it. Really enjoyed it, and if you’re not in the whole Hollywood crap-fest. Then this is an interesting change.

The stockmarket collapsed, and then the Razzies for worst film of 2007. Interestingly enough, I saw some of the worst performances. Lindsay Lohan came out on top (nothing new for Lindsay) for “Georgia Rule” (will I ever get those 2 hours back) The film is only really interesting in that you see her give a guy some oral attention in a boat. Mind you, on her current record you’re probably next anyway! “Bratz” and “Daddy Day Camp” also come in on the top of the worst films, with Eddie Murphy and “Norbit” really getting honoured. Nicholas Cage was rightly honoured for his ‘work’ on “Ghost Rider” and “National Treasure”. Nick – you’re a loser. Stop acting!! You can’t so just don’t try!!

Fuck-O-Meter this week:
R: 3
P: 4
A: 0